Doing really well Nearly there Nearly there
Nearly there Bravo!
Here we go, back the other way
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine Fine
- You sure? - Yeah, I just slipped
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello - GRAHAM: So are you ever coming home?
- Oh, my God Hi - How is it going?
- Great I met a really nice guy - See? And you said you'd never
- What's he like? - He's really cute
I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience
- And he's about 90 years old - Come on!
He's my next door neighbor Or Amanda's next door neighbor
Oh, by the way, you should pop over and meet her
- Yeah, I have, actually - Oh, bugger
Call waiting Can you hold for a sec?
- Hold on I really want to talk to you - Sure
- Hello? - Iris, hi It's Amanda
- How are you? How's it going? - Everything is going great How are you?
I'm loving it Listen, can you hold for a sec? My brother is on the other line
- Graham? - Yes He said you met
- Yes, we did meet How is he? - Fine, I think
- Can you just hold on for a sec? - Sure
- Okay Hi Sorry That was Amanda - How did she sound?
- How is she doing? - She just asked me how you are
- And what did you say? - I asked her to hold
- Can I call you back? - I can hold while you speak to her
- Really? - Find out how she is
Okay
My brother wants to know how you are
Can you tell him that I'm good, and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village?
- What's he been up to? Did he say? - I'm not sure
- Do you want me to ask him? - Sure
Okay Hold, please
I can't believe you that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house
- He told you that? - Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
I thought I was talking to Graham! Could you just hold, please?
I'm terribly sorry
I can't believe you've had sex with Amanda!
The one thing she asked me was, "Are there any men in your town?"
And I assured her that there were not
And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!
Still me
Bollocks! I must have lost him Amanda, I am so sorry
- Can I call you back? - Sure
Okay Bye
Yes, hello
It's Miles Am I in trouble?
Oh, Miles Hi
- What are you up to this Christmas Eve? - Not much,
but in a little bit I was gonna go down to the video shop
- and get the next movie on Arthur's list - Do you want some company?
Love some
Hey
- I got you the best drink in town - Hi
but I didn't know if you'd like a little dollop of whipped cream or a big dollop
So I got both, and you can have each one Well, hello, big dollop!
- Say, you look great, by the way - Thanks
- Really great - Thanks, I'm feeling good
I've been working out with Arthur
- What? - No I'm sure it's an awesome workout
I'm sorry, I'm trying not to picture it
Okay, well, the workout's not that great, but the conversation's Stop laughing!
- The conversation is truly fantastic - No, that I totally believe
Now let me ask you Have you seen this?
Chariots of Fire Loved it
(HUMMING CHARIO TS OF FIRE THEME)
Such a great score by Vangelis He took electronic scores to a new level
It was groundbreaking I'm gonna test you on this later
Okay, Driving Miss Daisy Hans Very unexpected
Do you remember how great it was?
(SCATTING)
Sassy! Love it
- Is this a bad game? - No
- Okay - Keep going
Sometimes I get self-conscious about my
(SINGING) And scraddle da
Are you embarrassed by this game I've started to play?
Okay It's not a library I can go loud
Two notes And you've got a villain
I don't know what to say about it Totally brill
(SINGING) Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
I bet you didn't know that was all written for the movie
- It was a score technically - IRIS: I did know that one
Can't go anywhere
Oh, my God Okay, this one? You have to check this out sometime
The Mission The score is genius It just comes from a totally different place
It's like I can't even
Just promise me you'll rent it and listen to it
- Renting - Thank you
It changed my world
What?
MILES: Maggie!
- Why do I always fall for the bad girl? - You didn't know she was a bad girl
I knew she wasn't good
Do you have anything a little bit stronger?
Thank you Let me rephrase this
Why am I attracted to a person I know isn't good?
I happen to know the answer to this Because you're hoping you're wrong,
and every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it,
and every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over
and you lose that argument with yourself that she's not for you
Exactly
And on top of that, there's the old standby, "I can't believe a girl like that
"would actually be with a guy like me"
You know what she said to me tonight?
She said she finished in Santa Fe after two days
and has been staying with whatever-his-name-was,
which means she's been right here in town,
which means when I spoke to her this morning on her cell,
and she said, "I'm looking out my window and it's snowing,"
she was in Santa Monica
What did she do? Go to weathercom?
That must've made them both scream with laughter
And in the meantime, I sent her Christmas gift to Santa Fe yesterday
I stood in line at FedEx to make sure she got it on time
- I know - Classic, right?
Look, I don't want to ruin your Christmas Eve
- You don't have to listen to this - It's okay I like the company
So how about some food? Shall I make us a little Christmas fettuccine?
- Sure - Listen
I know it's hard to believe people when they say, "I know how you feel,"
but I actually know how you feel
You see, I was
seeing someone back in London
We work for the same newspaper
and then I found out that he was also seeing this other girl, Sarah,
from the circulation department on the 19th floor
It turned out that he wasn't in love with me like I thought
What I'm trying to say is,
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible,
and how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you,
and it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get
or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends,
you still go to bed every night going over every detail,
and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood
And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy?
And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light
and show up at your door
(SIGHS)
And after all that, however long all that may be,
you'll go somewhere new
and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again,
and little pieces of your soul will finally come back
And all that fuzzy stuff,
those years of your life that you wasted,
that will eventually begin to fade
Well, fuck
You need this more than I do
That's what you're doing here? You're getting over somebody?
Yeah
This is me in good shape
Is this the guy who sent you pages from his novel?
Yeah He needs me
- So he stays in touch? - All the time
So that makes it impossible to forget him, which is great for him but sucks for you
You see how great your life is compared to mine?
Okay, let's go I'm making you some fettuccine
It is Christmas Eve, and we are going to sit out on that patio,
gonna make ourselves a little fire, gonna pop some bubbly,
and we are gonna celebrate being young and being alive
- You with me, Simpkins? - Miles
- You really are an incredibly decent man - I know
That's always been my problem
(HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS PLAYING)
(DOG BARKING)
Hi
Okay Here it is
Arthur's theme
I think this is really good
I'm serious I'm making him a CD of this tune
Every time he hears it, it should give him the confidence to walk right out there
- Okay? - Yeah
Here we go
Did I steal this?
- John Williams - I didn't write it Why?
- Okay, this is it for real - Okay
- Here we go - Yup
A little Arthur in the nights here
Right? It's cheeky
It sounds like him
I also wrote one that sounds like you
You did?
Iris, if you were a melody
I used only the good notes
(SINGING) Iris lives next door
To Arthur He's a doodley-do
- And also a doodley-do - Scroodley-do
- A scroodley-do Is it? I didn't know that - Yeah
- And froodley-do - Froodley-do
We both said froodley
I'm impressed You are a prodigy A doodle prodigy
Scroodley-do
So you're totally great
(GROANS)
Yeah This is a bitch
Well, you must come to London all the time for work, right?
London? Never
New York?
Not really But that's easier Do you go there often?
Rarely
Long-distance relationships can work, you know
Really? I can't make one work when I live in the same house with someone
So this could be a good solution for you
Oh, man
Okay
Let's say we just make this happen
We each commit to flying back and forth as much as we can
Yes It's doable, definitely
And then let's say, in six months we hit a wall
Like, I can't constantly be away from work
or the girls can't deal with you leaving so often
and we start to feel the tension
We know this isn't gonna work, so we start fighting
because we don't know what else to do
and then after a long, tearful, at your end, phone call
- Thank you - we say goodbye,
and that will be it for real
It's not like we're ever gonna bump into each other
And then what's left?
Two miserable people feeling totally mashed up and hurt
- Or - Thank you
Or maybe, we should just realize
that what we've had these past few weeks has been perfect
and maybe it won't get any better than this
and maybe we're trying to figure this thing out
because it makes us feel so good to feel this way
and maybe the fact that I'm leaving in eight hours
makes this far more exciting than it might actually be
Maybe
You're seriously the most depressing girl I've ever met
I know
- I have another scenario for you - Good
I'm in love with you
I apologize for the blunt delivery,
but as problematical as this fact may be,
I am in love with you
And I'm not feeling this because you're leaving
and not because it feels good to feel this way,
which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that
I can't figure out the mathematics of this I just know I love you
Can't believe how many times I'm saying it
And I never thought I'd feel this way again
so that's pretty phenomenal
And I realize I come with a package deal,
three for the price of one
And my package, perhaps, in the light of day isn't all that wonderful,
but I finally know what I want and that in itself is a miracle
And what I want is you
I wasn't expecting "I love you"
Can you not look at me like that?
I'm trying to find the right thing to say
I think if the obvious response doesn't immediately come to you,
we can just
We should just talk about something else,
like possibly what a complete arse I am
I do recall you promising me you wouldn't fall in love with me
Must pay better attention
I've never met a guy who talks as much as me,
but could you just for now be quiet, please?
(JUST FOR NOW PLAYING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
MILES: How many of those movies are on that list of his?
IRIS: About 15 I love it
I don't know how I've never seen The Lady Eve before
Barbara Stanwyck is dazzling
- She's so sure of herself - Sexy
Really sexy You know, every movie he's told me to see
has this powerhouse woman in it
Wonder if he's trying to tell you something with that
Okay Sorry about that Boob graze
That was accidental Accidental boob graze
I'm sorry
- Change of subject - Okay
Arthur has requested that you write some lyrics for his theme song
- What's the matter? Who is it? - It's Maggie
Hello?
Hi
I'm doing okay
Actually, Maggie, I'm a bit tied up at the moment
I don't know What time could you be there?
All right I'll be there
Oh, no, no, like, a half hour
Maybe a little longer
Okay Bye
She misses me
You see, she came to her senses
We should get the bill
No No, no, no Take your time I can wait till you're finished
- I'm finished - No, you didn't even get your spicy tuna yet
I'm fine, really
You can go I can get this one
I'll see you later at the Writers Guild I mean, if you can still make it
I gotta get all the way over to Silver Lake, but I'm gonna try to be there
Anyway, I'm bringing the music
I mean, I really want to be there, but I don't know how long this is gonna take
Oh, I'm sorry
It's all good Don't worry
- Good luck - Thank you
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello
Oh, Jasper I'm just reading your pages
No, I hadn't forgotten, I've just been busy, that's all
That's not true I was gonna call you when I'd
What kind of surprise?
No, I don't see a box or anything
Yes, I'm sure
Hold on Let me just check the kitchen
No Not in there
Well, I'll go and check the gate Yes
Well, when did you send it?
I found your Christmas present
- This place suits you - Yeah, right
No, really
So you are eventually gonna look at me, aren't you?
Hello
I came here because I had to see you
Had to
Oh, Jasper, I really don't understand this
I mean, I was right there for three years, remember?
"Square peg, round hole"?
That's what you said to me once, that we weren't really right for each other
We were a square peg and a round hole
Well, I don't remember that I just know that I hated when you were gone
and also I've never checked my e-mails more
It was driving me crazy that I wasn't hearing from you
I don't wanna lose you, babe
Lose me?
This is too confusing
Come here
I screwed up
Miles, haven't you ever screwed up? I made a mistake
I was stupid and impulsive
He wasn't what I thought
and I just started thinking about you
and wishing and hoping that you would just forgive me
Will you, Miles? Will you forgive me?
JASPER: You know what I was thinking?
When you get back to London, maybe we could sneak off somewhere together
Maybe Venice You and me in Venice could be good
Do you mean that? I mean,
are you free to do that?
Darling, I've just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven't I?
You know, that didn't exactly answer my question
So are you not with Sarah any more?
I mean, is that what you've come here to tell me?
I wish you could just accept knowing how confused I am about all this
Okay, let me translate that
So you are still engaged to be married?
- Yes, but I mean - Oh, my God
Well, this was a really close call
You know, I never thought I'd say this, literally never,
but I think you were absolutely right about us
Very square peg, very round hole
- You cannot mean that - The great thing is I actually do
and I'm about three years late in telling you this,
but nevertheless I need to say it
Jasper Wait, I need the lights on
Jasper,
- you have never treated me right, ever - Oh, babe
Shush
You broke my heart
and you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding,
and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you
so I just punished myself for years!
But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday
and telling me that you don't want to lose me whilst you're about to get married,
somehow newly entitles me to say
it's over
This This This twisted, toxic thing between us
is finally finished
I'm miraculously done being in love with you
I've got a life to start living
- And you're not going to be in it - Darling
Now I've got somewhere really important to be
and you have got to get the hell out
Now!
- What exactly has got into you? - I don't know
But I think what I've got is something slightly resembling gumption
(SCREAMS)
Iris You're a knockout
Thank you, and may I say, so are you
Did I do my tie okay? I haven't worn one in 15 years
Perfect
I like this Hugo Boss He cuts a nice suit
I've got something for you
Oh
Forgive me The last time I had a date, this is what we did
It's beautiful
If it's corny, or if it's gonna ruin your outfit, you don't have to wear it
I like corny
I'm looking for corny in my life
- That's a nice line - It's all those movies
Okay, let's do it
Let's get this embarrassment over with Okay
- Mr Abbott? - Yes, sir
We're all ready for you
Please
WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Arthur Abbott
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh, hi
- You look great - And you, too
Thank you very much
I'll take you up, Mr Abbott
Go on Go I'm so proud
I'll do it
The man is a rock star
Hi
Sorry I'm late The Maggie thing took a little time,
but it is over, finished, kaput
You look beautiful
Thank you
Thanks
Thank you, thank you
I'm absolutely overwhelmed
that I could climb those stairs
(ALL LAUGHING)
I came to Hollywood over 60 years ago
and immediately fell in love with motion pictures
and it's a love affair that's lasted a lifetime
When I first arrived in Tinseltown,
there were no cineplexes or multiplexes,
no such thing as a blockbuster or DVD
I was here before conglomerates owned the studios,
before pictures had special effects teams
and definitely before box-office results were reported
like baseball scores on the nightly news
He is so fantastic
- Iris - Yes
What are you doing New Year's Eve?
- I'll be back in England by New Year's Eve - Oh
You know, I've never been to England I've never been to Europe
No?
If I come over there, will you go out with me on New Year's Eve?
Love to
Okay, so we're not gonna make a bigger deal out of this than it already is
No, we're not
It's not like we're never going to speak or e-mail or
- No set rules - None
So now I'm just gonna kiss you for the millionth time
and say, "Be seeing you"
Be seeing you
And take care of yourself
- You have a good holiday, miss? - Yeah
Great
Maybe the best ever
(AMANDA SIGHS)
(LAUGHING)
NARRATOR: Amanda Woods, welcome back
(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
Turn around
Turn around and go back, please
- Did you forget something? - Yes Yes
Can you go any faster?
This little lane's always tricky It's gonna take a bit
It's okay, just stop
Madam
Graham!
Graham
(SNIFFLING)
You know, I was just thinking,
why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve?
That makes no sense at all
I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out,
but you did say you loved me
so I'm thinking I've got a date, if you'll have me
I have the girls New Year's Eve
Sounds perfect
Hi
Yes I'll put you on top of the Christmas tree
Sophie, give us a kiss
Come and tell me all about your Christmas presents
Go and sit with Miles
Okay, well, you know who that is
(YOU SEND ME PLAYING)
Sweetie
(INAUDIBLE)
This is amazing
Can't believe he'd ever come here He's just so fantastic
I've never seen you so happy
- I challenge you - Me?
Oh, yeah
SOPHIE: Yeah, yeah! OLIVIA: Yeah, yeah!
(INAUDIBLE)
(ALL CHATTERING)
(CHEERING)
MILES: Happy New Year! IRIS: Happy New Year!
GRAHAM: Happy New Year! AMANDA: Happy New Year everybody!